Heterosexual people are often quick to discard bisexuality because they don’t consider it a “real” sexual orientation. But the truth is that bisexuals are out there, having fun with all sexes and genders, living their best lives. But, understandably, people who don’t experience attraction to multiple sexes (or gender identities) can’t really comprehend what bisexuals feel.
Bisexual sex, how it happens, and how it differs from “straight” sex, is a mystery to many people. That’s why we’re doing a deep dive into bisexuals’ POV about sex! Let’s hear what bisexual men say about fooling around (or dating) different genders.
Anatomical Differences
There’s a common misconception that bisexuality means being attracted romantically and sexually to everyone all the time. That particular stereotype is what fuels biphobia.
Bisexual people are often described as greedy or quick to cheat because others think they are attracted to everyone. That’s not only inaccurate but also biphobic. Bi people have the same capacity to be faithful as any other person. Being faithful has nothing to do with your sexuality.
In reality, bi people have the potential to be attracted to both sexes. Still, that attraction to people of all sexes doesn’t mean they are horny for everyone. It also doesn’t mean they are attracted to both sexes equally.
Like anything else that has to do with sexual orientation, bisexuality is a spectrum. Not all bisexual people enjoy sex with women and men in the same or equal way. The capacity to enjoy sex with different genders is individual.
One of the most baffling facts about bisexual’s sex is that having sex with a man is quite different from having sex with a woman. Even though the person might identify as bisexual, pansexual, or omnisexual and is, therefore, attracted to all kinds of people, the fact of the matter is that men and women have different genitals.
So, the sex will inherently be different depending on who you’re sleeping with. If your bisexual husband seems like he’s enjoying his time with the man you chose for a bisexual threesome, that doesn’t necessarily means he “prefers” male genitalia. He might be just more familiar with it (since he has a similar pair, you know?).
Sexual Openness
Have you ever listened to your gay friends talking about hookups? If you have, then you probably know they happen quickly. Gay men don’t play around much when looking for a hookup. In fact, the whole thing is easily arranged in five or ten minutes.
If you’re familiar with that, then you probably already know that men are quicker to jump into bed than women. But does that mean that bisexual people enjoy sex with men more? No, and here’s why.
While it’s true that men are more open when it comes to making sexual connections, women are more open to communicating about their needs and desires. Therefore, sex with women might be more fulfilling and ultimately pleasurable for both parties.
That’s not to say that men don’t communicate about their needs. But if you’re arranging a quick hookup on Grindr, you won’t really talk about your deepest desires beforehand, right?
Of course, we’re talking about averages here. We aren’t making definitive statements that all men do one thing while all women do something else. But, on average, gay men will likely be more open to new sexual connections while women might not be.
Overall Sexual Performance
When it comes to how good men and women are in bed, there are no better people to ask than bisexuals. Bi people have experiences with both men and women. What’s more, many bi people also have long-term relationships with people of both sexes. Therefore, they are uniquely qualified to compare the sexual prowess of the two sexes.
If we’re talking about real-life experiences (and not some data we got from porn videos), the verdict is that men and women are equally good in bed. But they offer different things.
Gay men offer the convenience of familiar anatomy. What’s more, having sex with men also means that the bisexual man can assume two different roles. Depending on whether he likes to bottom or not, a bisexual man can experience sex with gay men (or other bisexual men) quite differently. Of course, men can also bottom while having sex with women. Still, since that’s not as conventional, men usually assume the top position.
But, women can offer other things. Sex with women allows for more intimacy, vulnerability, and gentleness. Again, that’s just a generalization that might not reflect everyone’s experience.
There’s also another thing that separates men and women in bed. In general, men are easier to please. Therefore, bi people might form their preferences based on that. Since it’s easier to pleasure your male partner, you might gravitate more towards having those types of experiences.
Willingness for Sexual Adventure
When it comes to the willingness to experiment, sexual liberation pretty much leveled the playing field. But that’s only true if we’re comparing straight men and women.
Sure, gay men are more willing to be adventurous in bed. Now that might seem like a pretty broad statement. However, it’s pretty close to the truth. Gay men are more likely to engage in group sex, try out not only different positions and toys, but also kinks and fetishes.
Because LGBTQI communities are more open to kink, they also enjoy it more freely. So, bi men have a bigger chance of having a new experience with a gay man. Women are also open to experimentation, but nowhere nearly as often as gay men.
Furthermore, when a bi man has sex with another man, there’s really no second-guessing. Since both (or all) parties are familiar with each other’s anatomy, they can assume what will feel good and what won’t.
Impacts on Bisexual Men’s Preference
All of these factors can impact a man’s sexual preference, in the same way gender, not necessarily sex, will impact whether someone likes a specific person.
In general, bi men like sexual partners who are open and not judgemental. Many bi men get a lot of hate from both gay men and straight women simply because they are bi. So, having a partner that accepts your sexuality completely and supports you is quite vital to most bi men.
As for the other factors that might determine whether a bi man likes someone or not, they all come down to individual preferences. It’s important to note that those preferences might change as the person changes and matures. Therefore, a bi man who preferred hooking up with ladies last year might want to hit the gay clubs this year. It’s all individual, people!